The Priceless Gift of Time: Why Spending Time with Children Matters More Than Money

Gowher Bhat

People are busy. Everyone’s in a rush. Parents work long hours, doing everything they can to provide their kids with what they didn’t have. Gadgets, toys, the latest tech. Things that say, “I care about you.” But in the rush, something important gets lost. Time.
You can buy your kids the best things, but they won’t remember that. What they’ll remember is the time you spent with them. The moments. That’s what stays with them. It’s not the stuff, it’s the presence. What they need is you. You, sitting with them. Not distracted. Not lost in your phone. Just you. And that’s what they need more than anything.

The Reality of Time Spent With Children
We hear it all the time: “I’m working hard for you. I’m doing this for your future.” But then you see them. Your kids. Sitting in front of a screen. Alone. In the U.S., kids aged 6 to 12 spend about 4.5 hours a day on screens. And what do they get in return? About 30 minutes of meaningful interaction with their families. Think about that. Thirty minutes. The math is simple: the rush for things has created a gap. Parents want to provide, but they forget what matters. Time.
In cities like Mumbai or Delhi, it’s the same. Parents come home after long shifts. They’re tired. The kids are left to figure it out on their own. Almost 70% of urban families in India don’t have time to spend with their children. They give them everything—food, clothes, a roof—but forget the one thing they really need. You.
Here in Kashmir, it’s no different. The pressure to make a living weighs on families. Parents work long hours—government jobs, private jobs, whatever they can get. They do it for the kids. But time? It slips away.

Kashmir: Beauty, but No Time
Kashmiris have always valued family. The bonds are close. But now, as life becomes faster, even here, time with the kids is harder to find. Parents are worn out by work. What used to be afternoons spent with kids in the meadows or by Dal Lake is now a quiet house, everyone on their phones. The kids are connected to their gadgets, and the parents are buried in work. Families, even in this beautiful place, are disconnected.
The natural beauty of Kashmir—its mountains, its rivers—should be the perfect setting for family moments. But in the hustle, families often miss out on it. The same place that once called families together now keeps them apart.

Experts Weigh In: Time Over Things
Experts agree: it’s not the stuff. Dr. Deborah Lowe Vandell, a developmental psychologist, says, “What children need is connection. Time spent with them is what matters most.” Research shows it. When kids have consistent, real care, they’re better off—socially, emotionally, and academically. Simple moments, like talking, playing, or just being there. That’s what matters.
Another expert, Dr. Cassidy, says, “When kids act out, it’s often because they’re not getting the attention they need. It’s not about buying things. It’s about being there.”
These words ring true in Kashmir. Despite the pressures, parents here know that being present matters. But how to balance work with time spent with kids? That’s the challenge. The problem isn’t that parents don’t want to spend time with their children. It’s finding the time to do it.

Cognitive Development and Parenting
It’s not just emotional support. It’s about their brains. Research shows that talking with kids—asking questions, telling stories—helps their brains grow. It improves their language skills, their thinking. Time spent together is more than just fun. It’s laying the foundation for their future.
Dr. Caroline Fenkel and Dr. Tamar Z. Kahane talk about the “living room family.” The living room is where families talk, play, and just exist together. It’s where social and emotional skills are built. The toys, the gadgets—they’re not as important. It’s the time. The time to talk, laugh, and connect.
In Kashmir, families who make time for these small moments find peace. It’s the little things—a meal together, a walk in the park—that children remember. Not the toys, not the gadgets.

The Reciprocal Benefit of Parenting
The kicker is, it’s not just the kids who benefit. Parents do too. Research shows that the demands of parenting actually help keep parents sharp as they age. It’s the mental workout that comes with managing a child’s needs, solving problems, dealing with emotions. It helps protect against cognitive decline.
Parenting, it turns out, is good for both sides. The care, the love—it strengthens the bond. Both parents and kids grow from it. In Kashmir, where stress often runs high, spending time with your child can be a way of finding relief. It reminds you of what really matters.

Quality, Not Quantity
The key isn’t how much time you spend. It’s how meaningful it is. We all wish for more time, more hours in the day. But the question is, when you’re with your kid, are you really there? Are you listening? Or are you on your phone? Are you asking them about their day? Or just sitting there, not really present?
We think buying things will fill the gap. That if we give them the latest toys or clothes, they’ll feel loved. But they don’t remember the gadgets. They remember the time you spent with them. They remember when you listened. When you made them laugh. When you just showed up for them.
In Kashmir, where family bonds run deep, it’s vital to make time. The world is busy, but what kids really need isn’t more stuff. It’s more time.

The Long-Term Effects of Time
In the end, it’s the time that matters. Not the toys or the vacations. It’s the time spent listening, laughing, talking. Time spent just being with them.
Dr. Samantha Reynolds, a child psychologist, sums it up: “Children need more than food and shelter. They need time. They need attention. And when you give them that, you’re helping them understand that they matter.”
That’s the real gift. Time. Not stuff.

Conclusion
Time is irreplaceable. When you look back, your kids won’t remember the things you bought. They’ll remember the time you spent with them. The moments shared. The way you made them feel.
So ask yourself: what’s more important? More things? Or more time?

(The author is a published author, freelance journalist, educator, and storyteller.)