DREAM OF Living in A Civilised Society – How Civilised? We The Valleyities
“You deserve to be happy, Not tired, not hurt, not stressed, BUT, contended, proud, strong, and cared for. The four R’s of Civilized Societies.”
Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili
Why must we try to shape every dream? This is a story of something I did that I’m not proud of. The quest for a civilized society is a timeless and noble aspiration pursued by individuals, communities, and nations throughout history. While visions of a civilized society vary, common themes and ideals often characterize this dream.
Walking through this seemingly civilized society became an unexpected journey filled with unpleasant surprises. As I strolled towards the office, my day took an unfortunate turn when someone threw garbage over a wall. The repulsive waste spoiled my clothes and robbed me of my pristine office attire. To salvage the situation and reach the office on time, I rushed to my garage to travel by fast-speed car. However, my journey was marred first by someone blocking my gate, parked carelessly without a contact number – something most civilities include – and then by chaotic, erratic traffic. Traffic jams appeared out of thin air, hindering progress and adding frustration. Approaching the office building, challenges persisted. Navigating bustling streets, someone jumped the row at the entrance gate, highlighting a lack of basic civility. The sight of people disregarding civilized norms was disheartening. Finally reaching the office premises, I got stuck at the bank counter surrounded by individuals showing blatant disregard for waiting in queues. Witnessing people brazenly jumping ahead highlighted a stark absence of basic courtesy and order.The most irritating was the person at bank counter was talking ( phubbing )on mobile while we were waiting for her attention .
Join me in uncovering this eye-opening moment: the four R’s of civilized Societies – Rights, Responsibilities, Rules of Law, and Respect for others’ Rights. It’s a journey through empathy, understanding, and the pitfalls of the human mind we fall prey to daily. People who don’t give seats in buses to the elderly, pregnant, or disabled. I also find it very annoying when women do not give seats to men carrying babies, disabled individuals, or small children; or those who leave pets, cows, domestic animals unattended in streets, get really “hyper,” or ignore requests to clean. The juxtaposition of the pristine blue water of our water bodies like Dal or Nigin lake with floating debris – empty cans, plastics, broken seats – after a music event at Ghantaghar paints a vivid picture of environmental disregard. Unextinguished streetlights with reachable switches during the day on the way to the nearby mosque suggest neglect of energy conservation, symbolizing inefficiency seen as uncivilized amid modern environmental concerns. Passenger buses with foam cut from seats and stolen ceramics from hospital washrooms point to disregard for public property and communal spaces. The same goes for people throwing garbage in streets and public spaces. People who spit or cough in public beside you – if you must, cover your mouth and say sorry afterwards – disrespect women and older people in queues, our parking etiquettes at parking places. Such actions reflect a lack of civic responsibility and contribute to the degradation of shared resources amidst a lack of respect for public spaces. The garbage throwing, chaotic traffic, and queue-jumping collectively painted a picture of a community struggling to uphold fundamental civilized values. Amid these experiences, the question lingered: Where is the semblance of a civilized society?
While seeking interpretation of your dream (not all heroes wear capes), consider the specific portrait and emotions. Everyday acts of kindness – holding a door, offering a helping hand, being polite and considerate – contribute to a positive, civil environment. Absolutely, highlight wonderful examples of our society’s positive, compassionate aspects: numerous individuals and NGOs often volunteer time and skills to help those in need during fire, flood emergencies, illness, property loss in natural disasters, or other humanitarian crises. We feel our people, especially youth, often rally together to provide assistance and support. Appreciation for different cultures and celebrating diversity foster understanding and tolerance. It is important to acknowledge and appreciate these positive aspects of civilization too, as they demonstrate kindness, empathy, and generosity within our societies, even working towards preserving the environment through tree planting, wildlife conservation, and promoting sustainable practices.
Awakening the Soul. Dreams often tap into our subconscious, providing insights into our thoughts and feelings. Sharing these concerns on the Senior Citizens WhatsApp group, “Classroom of Lessons,” holds an important lesson for those who listen. In essence, your narrative brings attention to the need for greater awareness and responsible behaviour in public spaces, reminding us that civilization’s true measure lies not just in enjoying cultural events, but also in respecting the environment and shared resources that make those events possible.
As individuals, families, communities, and nations, we are bestowed with powers: “Physical Power,” “Intellectual Power,” and “Spiritual Power.” When dreams are aspirations, turning them into reality can be life changing. Such dreams not only change our lives but also change us as a person, loosely termed ‘civilised.’ The hope for a more orderly and considerate society felt distant as I reflected on the morning’s tumultuous journey, a mix of thoughts and imagery, including that dreams about an idealized or civilized society reflect our hopes and concerns. The mention of a bridge being too far and the urgency of morning dawn not waiting may suggest distance or a need to act quickly.
To me, civilized means living in balance with the environment and taking care of the people in your society. “Civilian character is the silent melody of the heart, resonating with kindness and integrity, creating a symphony of one’s moral and ethical sharing and caring attributes, rights and rituals, traditions and civility.” Being “silent,” implies genuine character is often expressed through actions rather than words. By incorporating the Three Rs principles – Reduce, Reuse, Recycle – part of broader environmental stewardship involving mindful resource use, energy consumption, and waste management, individuals and societies minimize environmental impact, a crucial aspect of building a civilized society. The concept of a “civilized society” in your quest for creating one beyond politics and powerful corridors is subjective and varies based on individual perspectives, observations, and personal values. Put differently: Which human qualities and choices lead to ‘civilized’ behaviour — and why do we often reject them, embracing instead qualities and choices that encourage awful ‘uncivilized’ behaviour.
(Author, besides being a medical doctor, is very active in positive perception management of various moral and social issues. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com & twitter @drfiazfazil)
