BY THE WAY: Is the Burden of Vulgarity and Adultery on Women?
Dr Noour Ali Zehgeer
I am not a feminist, nor do I support anything called modernization.” I have exclusively written against all forms of “modernization” which have led us to vulgarity.
Most of my articles are based on what I see happening around in society. What mostly contributes to my ideas for writing articles is “social media.” Most of my time is spent on social media apps, and I get the themes of my articles from there.
Allah says in the Quran, Surah Nisa, Ayat 34: “Men are the caretakers of women.” When we speak about modesty (purdah), it is not just for women. No doubt, in the Quran it is explained how properly a woman should dress herself and how she should talk to a man who is non-mahram to her. But does all this excuse men from being modest? No, it does not. Where the Quran calls for women to be properly covered, the same Quran asks men to lower their gaze, which means a man is not even allowed to look at a non-mahram woman. Talking to her in a jolly way is out of the question.
The modern concept of “equality” always annoys me, and it in no way does justice to any gender. Islam has put women at a very high position even without asking her to prove her abilities. The modern concept demands that a woman show her capabilities to attain a position, whereas Islam does not demand it in any way.
Islam has given respect to women in a way that no other religion has ever given. When we speak about having a modest society, it does not put the burden on any one gender. It has assigned roles to men and women separately. I have always said it: “Islam doesn’t grant equality; it has struck a balance between both genders.” This balance is not a hypocritical concept like that of “feminism.”
We often shift the burden to others to make ourselves look clean and to get away with the growing vulgarity and degradation of values. We have so easily shifted this blame onto the female gender and made the male gender appear blameless. It is the same as when elders get together at a wedding and say, “The youth of today are involved in various evils,” and somehow take their own children out of it. In the same way, we have shifted the blame onto females and got away with our responsibilities.
Late one night, in an X space, we were randomly talking and joking among ourselves. A friend of ours came and started saying, “He’s alone. He wants a girlfriend. He wants to get physical with her,” and so on. Then suddenly he said, “These girls have degraded our society. They get men into evil.” I was left speechless. He was the one who wanted a girlfriend, he wanted those things, and now he was the one blaming them? Another one said, “If they are so good, they shouldn’t reply to our messages.” According to him, he will do everything to trap a girl, but the girl should be strong enough not to fall for the trap. This concept is completely against every single human reality. He completely shifted the blame onto women, even after accepting that he was the one who messaged them. And this is not the only place where I have heard such talks, but these arguments are baseless and meaningless.
Be aware of Women who have spread vulgarity in the name of Reality Show, Pheran Day, Fashion show, Holi mela and much more which is not acceptable in Islam and I am sure not the society.
“And don’t even go near adultery” is not for the female gender alone but for both genders. Allah calls upon both men and women not even to go near adultery. Had it been the duty of only one gender to remain modest, Allah would have mentioned it in the Quran.
Even when we look at the Hadiths, one does not find the burden placed on any single gender. Both genders have been asked to play their roles in ensuring things work properly. You cannot justify in any way that the growing adultery in our society is because of only one gender. Both genders have played—and are playing—their roles in the growing vulgarity in our society.
Not many of you may be familiar with the fact that a man has been asked to cover his chest, the reason being that women may find a man’s chest attractive. To ensure temptation is prevented, a man has been asked to cover himself, yet we often see chests being displayed. If a woman gets attracted on seeing your chest, will you still put the blame on her? If you say yes, then you should read psychology and understand how attraction works.
Writing this piece does not intend to excuse either gender from his or her duty, but to call upon both to fulfill their responsibilities as prescribed in the Quran.
Allah says in the Quran, Surah At-Tahrim, Ayat 6: “O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from the Hellfire.” Understand this Ayat—Allah has, in the very first step, asked you to save yourself from Hellfire and then your family. When you begin saving yourself and your family from Hellfire, society shall change, because we are society.
A woman of Modern time is not asked to stop fulfilling her dreams, she can go for anything what she wants to do in life, but need to abide by the Quran and Hayah. She is capable of doing all in life but within circle of Islam. She deserves respect, fame, success and right to live as per her aspirations if they are geo fenced by Quran and Hadees.
Remember, shifting blame will not help. You have to start changing yourself. All the arguments you present to excuse yourself shall not work on the Day of Judgment.
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