Career Stress in Teens
A Call to Ease the Pressure, Loosen the Load, Lighten the Mind.
DR. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili
High expectations in the age of cutthroat competition are affecting the health of our children. Who is responsible for creating a generation of stressful children? Is it because of the clash between our children’s goals and our goals for them? This is not the age of trial and error, life must be programmed well. Today’s teens face immense pressures that severely strain their innocence. The constant weight of future career uncertainty begins early, compounded by the heavy school bag symbolizing their academic burden. Early school timings often demand good sleep, modern day trending behaviour of playing games on gadgets using mobile or work from home classes, the exhausting hours of screening time, then Molvi sahib coming to teach religious basics, leaving little time for rest or play. Crushing expectations from parents, schools, and society demand peak performance. They feel compelled to be in the race to be first – academically, socially, in extracurriculars. This relentless drive pushes them beyond reasonable mental and physical capabilities, eroding carefree childhood joys. The constant demand to achieve, perform, and carry the load, physically and metaphorically, stretches innocence thin. The product is overwhelming stress, a defining feature of modern adolescence.
Why is the youth so much more anxious and stressed than previous generations? Why do young students inflict self-harm on themselves? What can be done to solve this problem? These are becoming serious issues which need to be addressed urgently. Career stress among students is taking its hold very fervently, more than ever before. Over the years, we have seen students, even those from prestigious schools and institutions like IITs, and IIMs inflicting self-harm for similar reasons. For the past few weeks, not a day has gone by when news of some young one taking the extreme step has not made the headlines of the newspapers or the TV channels. Today’s students face overwhelming stress from the education system, societal norms, parental expectations, peer pressure, and limited opportunities. Academic failures, relationship issues, and lack of emotional support make many feel rejected and misunderstood. This leads to feelings of being social misfits and, in some cases, depression. Teens, especially without moral or religious grounding, are vulnerable to negative influences like substance abuse or self-harm. The pressure to succeed—whether in IITs or kindergarten—reflects a rat race mentality that erodes emotional well-being. Over-monitoring and lack of empathy are worsening the crisis, leaving both parents and children. Children today face immense pressure to excel academically, leading to mental and physical exhaustion. I don’t know how my colleagues (Psychiatrists) will analyze this issue. According to the NASP (National Association for Suicide Prevention) everyone has different reasons for being depressed and the extent of that depression will also vary from individual to another individual. Whether the IITs or the KG class, it’s the same rat race mentality that overtakes and ultimately consumes the humane aspect of our lives. Today’s children are being over-monitored, many wake early, skip meals, and rush to overcrowded tuitions after sleepless nights online. With little time to relax, they avoid social and religious gatherings, fearing parental criticism. Peer and parental pressure to pursue prestigious careers like engineering, medicine, or civil services adds to their stress. Constant comparisons and sarcastic remarks from relatives over exam scores further burden both students and parents. This unhealthy obsession with grades overshadows a balanced life and broader definitions of success. Children are juggling academics, sports, keeping up with their friends on Facebook and often shuttle between homes and tuitions making them risk-averse and fragile.
One question always baffles me: Do we need private tuitions even after admitting our children to high tuition fee schools? Many children feel overwhelmed by expectations from parents, teachers, and friends, unsure of what to do or whom to follow. With the economy in bad shape, many realize much money is being spent on them. The pressure to excel in exams is a major concern. Children wake up early (some after late-night chats online, ignoring parents’ advice to sleep) and rush for tuition on empty stomachs. After heavy workloads from overcrowded tuitions and hectic school schedules, kids are mentally and physically fatigued. With little time to relax, they skip socio-religious gatherings, fearing taunts from parents about wasting time. Peer pressure is a big issue in schools and families. Many parents force children into becoming engineers, doctors, or IAS/IIM graduates. This is wrong life is more than degrees; it is an era of skills which helps you in job placements. Gone are the days when securing first division was a matter of pride. These days a student with 70% marks is considered an average student. Students as well as parents these days go into depression just because marks are some .01% less than the topper. We all (parents, students, teachers, policy makers, school administration, and community) are responsible for this situation, and as members of this society need to revise our positions expeditiously and expediently to deal with this burning issue and perform our role to detoxify this stressful situation. Children also should realize their responsibilities. Those students who are not serious about their career, who can’t foresee the difficulties of the future have to be guided. These are cases where a slight push, a little guidance, a little more strictness on the parent’s parts, and a little nagging has helped the child excel in his life.
Unfortunately, these days children have little tolerance towards the advice/tips from elders. Both the parents and students are madly running after their goals making Masha Allah Syed Abid Rashid or Mrs. Sehrish Asghar like careerists as the ideals is at times unattainable because of the competency level of children. And failure to reach their dream destination forces them to yield surrender to Satanic tricks. Despair and disbelief often go together, but Allah’s mercy is vast, as emphasized in the Quran (12:87). Children should trust in Allah (Tawakkul), follow Prophetic traditions, and seek help in prayers and supplications during hardship. Teens should not face stress alone—support is available through parents, friends, teachers, and the wider community. Many youths hide problems, so adults must maintain open communication. Schools, peers, and religious institutions must work together to identify signs of distress. With rising exposure to harmful content, programs promoting moral education and emotional resilience are essential to counter teenage depression and foster belonging.
Just loosen the knots Prevention is always better than cure. Most youths who attempt such drastic actions don’t really want to inflict harm on themselves; they need our support with tender loving care. Satan probably overpowers their reasoning and keeps them away from seeking help. According to one survey, 93% of the students reported that they would turn to a friend, before a teacher, parent or spiritual guide in a time of crisis (Jr teenage crisis). What advice can you give a high school junior who doesn’t perform well in exams butdoes not know what to do in this situation? Unsure of a future…How can we help him in the crisis.? There’s no doubt about it, being a teenager can be difficult and stressful.
Lastly, an appeal to all the parents to realize the capabilities of your child; don’t expect your child to be the best in the world, a celebrity or a luminary, don’t see the top most doctors, engineer, executive, businessmen or Shah Rukh khan etc in your child. Remember everyone cannot reach the top. Guide your children; be there for them when they need you. Don’t push your child so far in pursuit to realize your dreams. My humble appeal to children is; Don’t lose heart; Don’t despair. Do your best, rest leave it to Allah(ST).
