FRIDAY SERMON: Manners — “The Reflection of Faith”
Muhammad Younis Bhat (Zahid)
Good manners are the foundation of human character and the essence of a civilized society. They reflect inner purity, respect, and humility — qualities that make a person truly human. The Holy Qur’an and Sunnah have given great importance to noble conduct, describing it as an integral part of faith. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
“The best among you are those who have the best manners.”
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3559)
Good manners are not just social etiquette; they are moral values that uplift individuals and nations. History shows that the rise and fall of civilizations have always depended upon their moral character. A society with wealth, knowledge, and power but without manners soon faces decline and disgrace.
“MANNERS”
Good manners are the mark of civility, decency and mutual accord, for man to live in the society, it becomes essential that he must have those qualities which find currency and are acceptable to other manners of the society. I every society certain practices come to be accepted as part of good manners.
We infect the world with our ill humour. Bad manners probably do more to poison the stream of the general life than all the crimes committed. For no law can become the guardian of our private manners. No court of law can administer over the vast area of our offences committed in bad taste. Good manners are the little courtesies by which we keep the machine of life oiled and running swiftly. It does not cost anything to practise social facilities in our speech, in our moods and manners.
Manners are not born with us, they have to be learnt and acquired. If a child is not taught how to behave Respectfully, he would grow up rough, rude and uncultivated. Finer instincts (promoting to action) and refined ways of life are to be inculated early in age. A child must learn to be obedient to elders to be fair in treating his equals and respectful to the visitors to the house. Undue bashfulness grow in to timidity over sensitive ness grows in to ill temper and over frankness gross in to out spokeness. Only rigorous (strict) training in discipline, cleanliness and orderly life can ensure future success. Parents in this respect should not be over indulgent and should not pamper (feed) their children unreasonably. Besides the surroundings and the atmosphere in which a child is brought up make a significant contribution. The school and the teacher also mould the moral calibre character and culture in a child. The pious (religious) bond of reverence and gratitude is instilled in him by the teacher.
Good manners are the ornaments of a gentleman. They are necessary for success and popularity in life, by neglecting them one brings flur upon (disgrace) the family, education and the entire upbringing. He not only offends others, but brings ruin upon himself. It is frequently seen that a less qualified man but amiable person gets the better of a man more qualified but I’ll mannered rival.
Manners and Habits — The Subtle Difference
It is important to understand the difference between manners and habits. Manners are the reflection of how we treat others — a sign of our respect, kindness, and discipline. Habits, on the other hand, are repetitive actions that gradually become part of our nature.
A habit, once formed, is very difficult to change. As the word HABIT shows, when you remove the H, it remains “A BIT”; remove the A, it becomes “BIT”; and when you remove the B, still “IT” remains. This beautifully explains that a habit can never be completely erased.
Therefore, parents, teachers, and elders must instill good habits in children and youth from the beginning — habits that later shape into good manners. What we plant in their early years will bear fruit in their character throughout life.
The Role of Example in Building Manners and Habits
Every human being, from infancy to adulthood, observes the actions and words of parents, elders, and teachers. They learn more from what they see than from what they are told. Children mirror their environment; if they witness patience, honesty, and respect at home, they will grow up reflecting those same values.
Thus, the real foundation of moral education begins with example. Before education comes training, because training builds the soul while education shapes the mind. Parents and teachers must first present themselves as role models — living examples of the manners and habits they wish to cultivate in the young. When adults embody good manners, children naturally follow; but when they act carelessly or disrespectfully, the same traits take root in their children.
The Modern Trend of Disrespectful Entertainment
In today’s world, a highly alarming trend has emerged, particularly in countries like China, Pakistan, and India, where parents, guardians, or content creators encourage children and teenagers to behave disrespectfully toward their elders in order to make a “funny video” for social media. What appears to be a harmless act of humor is actually a serious form of moral destruction.
When children begin to laugh at the act of insulting an elder, it becomes a habit, and that habit gradually shapes into a manner — forming the core of their character. Parents and elders, often unknowingly, are weakening the very moral foundation of their children. By promoting such content, they are teaching the next generation that disrespect can be entertainment. Both manners and habits are being corrupted under the name of fun.
If this practice continues, society will soon forget the true meaning of respect and humility. Islam has clearly emphasized the importance of respect for elders and kindness toward the young. The Holy Prophet ﷺ said:
“He is not one of us who does not show respect to our elders and mercy to our young.”
(Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4943)
This Hadith beautifully reminds us that when a society loses respect for its elders, it loses its moral and spiritual direction altogether.
Individual Steps for Eradicating Bad Manners
The journey toward reform begins at the personal level. Every individual must examine his own behaviour — his speech, tone, lifestyle, and treatment of others. When we improve ourselves, we inspire others to do the same.
- Create an environment of respect and dignity at home.
- Avoid backbiting, mocking, or criticizing others in front of children.
- Refrain from spreading immoral or disrespectful content on social media.
- Along with education, focus on moral development and spiritual growth.
- Parents, teachers, and scholars must act as centres of moral guidance within the community.
Conclusion
Manners are the fragrance of human personality — the quality that makes knowledge meaningful, wealth respectable, and life peaceful. Education and power can make a person successful, but only manners make him honourable. To be truly civilized, one must cultivate discipline, empathy, and faith.
As the Holy Prophet ﷺ said:
“I have been sent only to perfect good manners.”
(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 8952)
Therefore, let us strive to beautify our character and our homes with good manners, for they are the mirror of faith and the key to success in this world and the Hereafter.
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(Straight Talk Communications Exclusive)
