When Family Advice Overrules Doctors: The Hidden Danger for New Mothers and Newborns in Kashmir
Gowhar Bhat
In the tightly knit communities of Kashmir, family support is often considered the backbone of life, especially during the crucial phases of pregnancy and postpartum care. Yet, an alarming pattern has emerged: despite medical guidance, many families insist on age-old traditional remedies, dietary restrictions, or unverified advice sometimes putting both mother and child at risk.
This behavior is not born out of malice. On the contrary, families are often acting out of love and concern. But when that love overrides evidence-based medical guidance, it can have serious consequences. Across districts like Anantnag, Budgam, Ganderbal, and Baramulla, healthcare professionals have observed an increasing number of mothers and newborns presenting complications not because they were initially ill, but because qafamilies ignored or modified medical advice.
Why Families Interfere
Several factors contribute to this phenomenon:
- Cultural Traditions: In Kashmir, home remedies and ancestral practices are deeply rooted. Herbs, special foods, and postpartum rituals are passed down through generations. While some of these practices may provide comfort, they are not a substitute for professional healthcare. “My grandmother always said a certain herbal tea would help a baby gain strength,” said a new mother from Budgam. “I tried it because the family insisted, even though the doctor said it wasn’t necessary.”
- Mistrust of Modern Medicine: Some families worry that doctors prescribe unnecessary medicines or tests for profit. This skepticism leads relatives to offer advice they believe is “safer” or more natural. Unfortunately, these well-intentioned interventions can delay proper care.
- Accessibility and Convenience: In remote villages, access to doctors can be limited. Family elders and neighbors become the default source of advice, even if their suggestions contradict medical guidance.
- False Confidence: Many family members rely on personal anecdotes or partial information from the internet, believing they know better than professionals.
- Over-involvement: In households where everyone wants a say, even minor decisions like when and how to feed the baby can become battlegrounds, creating confusion and stress for the mother.
The Real-World Consequences
Consider the case of a new mother in Anantnag. Despite doctors emphasizing the importance of exclusive breastfeeding, her family advised her to put her newborn on formula milk, believing it would help the baby grow faster. Within days, the baby suffered mild dehydration, struggled with digestion, and experienced low weight gain.
In Budgam, a similar situation occurred. Family members insisted on giving herbal teas to a newborn and delayed recommended vaccinations, convinced they were protecting the child from future illnesses. The result? The baby developed preventable infections that required hospitalization.
In Ganderbal and Baramulla, doctors frequently encounter mothers with postpartum complications – excessive bleeding, poor recovery, and newborns with feeding issues—all traced back to families substituting medical advice with unverified traditional practices.
Why Breastfeeding Matters
A particularly dangerous area of interference is feeding. Experts consistently advise that mother’s milk is the best nutrition for newborns for at least the first six months. Yet relatives sometimes encourage formula feeding, claiming it is “stronger” or “better” than breast milk.
Medical studies strongly support exclusive breastfeeding. According to the World Health Organization, breastfeeding reduces the risk of infections, supports healthy brain development, and strengthens the baby’s immune system. Introducing formula prematurely can disrupt these benefits and, in some cases, cause digestive issues, allergies, or malnutrition.
Supporting Evidence
The dangers of ignoring professional advice are well-documented. A 2022 World Health Organization report noted that maternal and neonatal mortality rates are significantly higher in communities where families rely solely on traditional practices without consulting healthcare professionals. A study in the Indian Journal of Community Medicine found that 36% of postpartum complications in rural India were linked to ignoring doctor-recommended care.
Local healthcare workers in Kashmir confirm these findings. While families believe they are helping, interference often delays recovery, complicates treatment, and increases hospital stays.
Balancing Love and Professional Care
Families are invaluable, particularly in regions like Kashmir, where extended households are common. Emotional support, helping with household chores, and assisting new mothers are critical. However, when concern crosses into controlling medical decisions, it can harm the very people families aim to protect.
Healthcare professionals advise a few simple strategies:
Trust the Professionals: Doctors and nurses are trained to handle both mothers and newborns. Their recommendations are based on years of education and clinical experience. Families should view their guidance as essential, not optional.
Support, Don’t Substitute: Encourage the mother to follow medical advice. Provide help with meals, chores, and emotional support, but avoid overriding feeding schedules, medication plans, or postpartum care routines.
Attend Visits Together: When family members accompany mothers to prenatal and postnatal appointments, they gain firsthand understanding of the recommended care. This reduces the temptation to interfere later.
Set Boundaries Respectfully: Families can express concern without imposing decisions. A gentle reminder that the mother and her healthcare team have the final say can prevent conflicts.
Voices from Kashmir
Mothers across Kashmir share similar experiences:
“My parents insisted I feed my baby herbal water instead of breast milk,” says a mother from Baramulla. “I tried to follow them, but the baby was constantly sick. Only after returning to the doctor’s advice did he start gaining weight properly.”
“I wanted to follow the doctor’s feeding schedule, but my sister kept giving formula,” recalls a mother in Ganderbal. “It caused confusion, and the baby had colic for days.”
“We grew up believing certain foods after delivery could make the baby healthier,” says a Budgam grandmother. “We didn’t know it could actually harm the newborn if not guided by a doctor.”
Education and Awareness
Bridging the gap between tradition and science is key. Awareness campaigns during prenatal classes, hospital visits, and community gatherings can educate families about evidence-based practices. Counseling family members alongside mothers ensures everyone understands why certain medical recommendations are crucial.
Studies also show that when families are educated, compliance with medical advice improves dramatically. Community health programs that involve family members in maternal and child health initiatives have successfully reduced postpartum complications and improved newborn survival rates.
Conclusion
Kashmir’s families are deeply loving and protective, which is one of the region’s greatest strengths. Yet, when caring becomes controlling, and tradition overrides professional advice, both mother and child can suffer. Respecting medical guidance does not diminish family love—it enhances it.
The lesson is clear: health deserves professionalism, not guesswork. Families can support, nurture, and love, but when it comes to medical care, evidence-based guidance must take precedence. By trusting doctors, educating relatives, and setting respectful boundaries, Kashmiri communities can protect their most vulnerable members – new mothers and newborns ensuring a healthier start for the next generation.
(Gowher Bhat is a published author, freelance journalist, book reviewer, and educator based in Kashmir.)
