FRIDAY SERMON: The Qur’anic and Prophetic Method of Controlling Human Desires

Do Not Suppress Desire. Guide It in the Right Direction.

Mohammad Younis Bhat (Zahid)

The existence of desires within a human being is part of the natural disposition created by Allah. The real issue is not the existence of desire, but how a person deals with it.

When a desire leads a person toward what is lawful, pure, and responsible, it can become a positive part of life. But when desire begins to dominate a person’s reason, faith, character, and concern for the rights of others, it can become a serious test.

The Qur’an and Sunnah do not teach human beings to eliminate their natural desires. Rather, they teach us to place those desires under the guidance of Allah’s pleasure, God-consciousness, lawful boundaries, and moral responsibility.

Therefore, controlling desire does not mean fighting against human nature. It means training the self.

Taqwa — The Foundation of Self-Control

One of the greatest sources of strength in controlling human desires is taqwa, or consciousness of Allah.

Taqwa includes the awareness that Allah knows our actions, intentions, and inner thoughts, and that we will ultimately be accountable for what we do.
When this awareness becomes strong in the heart, a person becomes more capable of observing limits even when nobody else is watching.

The real test of self-control often comes in private.
It may be easy to behave properly when other people are watching. But when a person is alone and believes that no human being can see him, awareness of Allah can prevent him from crossing a boundary.
Taqwa therefore gives a person an internal source of discipline.

Prayer — A Means of Training the Self

Prayer is not only an act of worship; it is also a regular form of spiritual training.

Allah says:
“Indeed, prayer restrains from immorality and wrongdoing.”(Qur’an, 29:45)

Prayer repeatedly turns a person’s attention toward his Lord throughout the day.
Among the pressures of work, wealth, relationships, desires, and worldly responsibilities, prayer reminds a person that life is not merely about satisfying every personal desire.

A person who strengthens his relationship with Allah through prayer can become more conscious of his choices and more capable of resisting harmful impulses.

Fasting — Training the Desires

Fasting is one of the greatest forms of training for the self.

Allah says:
“O believers! Fasting has been prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may attain taqwa.” (Qur’an, 2:183)

Fasting teaches a person that not every desire has to be fulfilled immediately.

A person may be hungry, yet he refrains from food.

He may be thirsty, yet he refrains from drinking.

Even lawful needs are temporarily placed under obedience to Allah’s command.

This is an important lesson in self-control.

The training of Ramadan should not end when Ramadan ends. The discipline learned during fasting should continue to influence a person’s behavior throughout the year.

Protecting the Gaze

The protection of one’s gaze plays an important role in controlling desire.

Allah says:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity.” (Qur’an, 24:30)

The Qur’an then gives corresponding guidance to believing women as well.
In the modern age, this guidance has become particularly relevant because mobile phones and the internet can constantly place different forms of visual content before a person.

A person does not need to look at everything that appears before him.

A useful principle is:

If something repeatedly awakens a desire that I cannot or should not fulfill through a lawful means, avoiding it is safer for me.

Self-control often begins before the desire becomes overwhelming.

Choosing the Lawful Path

Islam does not merely tell people to suppress their desires. It also provides lawful avenues through which natural needs can be fulfilled.

For example:
Marriage provides a lawful framework for intimate relationships.

Lawful work and trade provide a means of earning wealth.
Family life provides a natural framework for having and raising children.

Service, knowledge, good character, and trustworthiness provide legitimate ways of earning respect.

This is one of the important features of Islamic guidance: natural human needs are not simply ignored. They are given lawful and responsible channels.

Marriage — A Lawful Way to Fulfill Sexual Desire

Sexual desire is a natural reality, especially among young people. Islam does not describe the existence of this desire itself as sinful. Instead, it establishes boundaries and provides a lawful path through marriage.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ advised young people that whoever is able to marry should marry, because it helps protect the gaze and preserve chastity. Whoever is unable to marry was advised to fast, because fasting serves as a protection.

This teaching is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5066.
Two important principles can be understood from this guidance:

When a person has the ability, marriage is a lawful path.
When a person is unable to marry, self-restraint and fasting can help.

This is a clear example of the Islamic approach to human desire: neither denying human nature nor allowing desire to become uncontrolled.

Remembrance of Allah and Connection with the Qur’an

To control the desires of the self, a person must also nourish the heart.

Just as the body needs food, the heart needs faith, remembrance of Allah, prayer, and the Qur’an.

Allah says:
“Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” (Qur’an, 13:28)

When the heart becomes constantly occupied with worldly desires while its connection with Allah becomes weak, a person’s inner priorities can become distorted.

The Qur’an helps restore perspective. It reminds a person that worldly possessions, status, pleasures, and desires are temporary, while accountability before Allah is a permanent reality.

Lawful Earnings and the Control of Desire

Controlling the desire for wealth does not mean abandoning hard work or ambition.

Rather, a person should work hard through lawful means and stay away from unlawful earnings.

When income is limited, he should practice patience.
When wealth increases, he should practice gratitude.
When wealth comes, he should fulfill his obligations toward others, including zakat where applicable, and give charity.

Most importantly, he should not allow wealth to become the master of his heart.

The Qur’an says:
“Whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them, and provide for them from sources they could never imagine.” (Qur’an, 65:2–3)

This teaches believers to place their trust in Allah while continuing to pursue lawful means of livelihood.

Charity — Balancing the Love of Wealth

Wealth in a person’s hands can be a blessing. But when wealth takes control of the heart, it can become a test.

Zakat and charity remind a person that wealth carries responsibilities.

When a person helps those in need, his attention moves beyond his own desires and becomes connected with the needs of the wider community.

This can cultivate:
Gratitude
Compassion
Generosity
Responsibility
Contentment

Charity therefore helps prevent wealth from becoming the central purpose of life.

Choosing Good Company

A person’s environment can strongly influence his desires.
If someone constantly surrounds himself with people whose main concerns are wealth, luxury, fame, appearance, and competition, he may gradually begin to view those things as the primary measures of success.

On the other hand, spending time with balanced, trustworthy, and morally responsible people can encourage healthier priorities.
Choosing one’s company is therefore not only a matter of social preference. It is also an important part of training the self.

Recognizing Your Own Weaknesses

Every person is tested differently.

For one person, wealth may be the greatest temptation.

For another, it may be sexual desire.

For someone else, anger may be the major weakness.

For another, it may be fame, recognition, jealousy, or the desire to be ahead of others.

Therefore, a person should identify his own particular weaknesses.

Ask yourself:
What desire affects me most strongly?
What things influence me most easily?
What environment makes me more vulnerable?
At what times am I most likely to make poor decisions?

Recognizing a weakness is not itself a failure.

It is often the first step toward correcting it.

Delaying a Decision When Desire Is Strong

Sometimes a desire becomes so intense that a person wants to act immediately.

In such moments, deliberately creating a pause can be extremely useful.

Tell yourself:
“I do not need to decide this immediately. I will think about it first.”

A short pause can prevent an emotional reaction from becoming a permanent decision.
Then ask:
Is this lawful?
Is it necessary?
Is it beneficial?
Could it violate another person’s rights?
Will I still be comfortable with this decision later?
This process turns an immediate impulse into a thoughtful decision.

Repentance — Returning After a Mistake

Human beings are not perfect.

A person may sometimes become weak in the face of temptation or desire. If he makes a mistake, he should not lose hope.

He should recognize the mistake, turn back to Allah, seek forgiveness, and make a sincere effort not to repeat it.
Islam does not teach that one mistake means the end of a person’s journey toward self-improvement.

Rather, Allah’s mercy remains open to those who sincerely turn back to Him.

Therefore, controlling one’s desires should be understood as a continuous process of spiritual and moral training.

Daily Self-Accountability

A simple daily review can be very helpful in controlling the desires of the self.

At the end of the day, take a few quiet minutes and ask yourself:
Which desire did I control today?
Where did I become weak?
Did any of my desires affect another person’s rights?
What did I watch, hear, or read today that influenced my desires?
What can I do better tomorrow?

This small practice of self-accountability can help a person remain aware of his inner state.

Essential Principles for Controlling Desire
The teachings of this chapter can be summarized through a few fundamental principles:
Taqwa — Remain conscious of Allah.
Prayer — Strengthen your relationship with your Lord.
Fasting — Train yourself to delay immediate gratification.
Guarding the gaze — Avoid unnecessary triggers of temptation.
Marriage — Provide a lawful path for natural sexual desire.
Lawful earnings — Fulfill financial needs through permissible means.
Zakat and charity — Keep the love of wealth in balance.
Good company — Choose an environment that supports righteousness.
Self-accountability — Examine your behavior regularly.
Repentance — Return to Allah after mistakes and continue improving.

Conclusion

Human desires are not the enemy. They are part of the nature Allah has given us.

True success does not mean having no desires. It means not allowing those desires to become our masters.

When we are hungry, we should eat what is lawful.
When we need wealth, we should earn it lawfully.

When we experience sexual desire, we should seek the lawful path of marriage.

When we desire children, we should regard them as both a blessing and a responsibility.

When we seek respect, we should pursue it through character and service.

When we receive authority, we should regard it as a trust.

And with every major desire, we should keep one important question alive within ourselves:
“Is this desire bringing me closer to Allah, or taking me away from Him?”

This question can help protect a person from becoming a servant of his own desires.

Central Message

“Controlling desire does not mean eliminating human desires. It means guiding them through taqwa, worship, lawful means, self-accountability, and responsibility. A person who trains his self does not allow desire to become the master of his life; instead, he makes desire a responsible and purposeful part of his life.”

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