Don’t Lose the Child in You

Growing old is inevitable. Growing wiser takes time. And remaining young at heart is an art worth preserving.

Anil Kumar Sharma
Growing up is a natural process. Rushing through childhood and adolescence may leave us older in years, but not necessarily wiser in life.

“The creative adult is the child who has survived.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

There is something beautiful about childhood that we often fail to appreciate while we are living it. A child can find happiness in the smallest thing,a paper boat floating in a puddle, the first drops of rain, a game played with friends in an open field, a favourite sweet or the reassuring presence of a parent. For a child, happiness does not always require a reason, a celebration or an achievement. Sometimes, it simply exists in the moment.

Childhood is a world of curiosity, imagination and innocence. Children ask questions without hesitation, laugh without calculating the consequences and form friendships without examining one another’s status or possessions. They may quarrel over a toy or a game, but often return to playing together as though nothing happened. Their world is not free from disappointment, but they possess a remarkable ability to find joy in ordinary things and move on from small hurts.

For those of us who grew up before smartphones and social media became part of everyday life, childhood had its own simple pleasures. We waited for friends to gather in the neighbourhood, played outdoor games until someone called us home, shared food without worrying about its presentation and made memories without feeling the need to record every moment. We did not need a camera to prove that we were happy. The experience itself was enough.

Then came adolescence, that delicate stage between childhood and adulthood. It was a time of discovering ourselves, forming friendships, experiencing new emotions and gradually understanding the world beyond our homes. We began questioning the advice of our parents, seeking independence and forming opinions of our own. Yet, we also learned through mistakes, disagreements, disappointments and conversations with people who had travelled further along life’s path.

Adolescence was never meant to be a waiting room before adulthood. It was a journey in its own right, a period in which we learned not only what to think, but how to think,not only how to express ourselves, but how to listen, and not only how to defend our opinions, but how to reconsider them when experience or evidence demanded it.

Today, however, I sometimes wonder whether this natural journey is being compressed into a much shorter period. The digital world has placed an extraordinary amount of information at the fingertips of young people. Generation Z, having grown up amid smartphones, social media and instant access to global events, is often better informed about what is happening around the world than earlier generations were at the same age. Its members can speak confidently about social injustice, equality, politics, climate change and other issues that demand public attention. Their willingness to question established practices and challenge wrongdoing is a strength that society should welcome.

Yet, there is a difference between being informed and being experienced, between expressing an opinion and understanding all its consequences, and between possessing the confidence to lead and having developed the patience that leadership requires.

Information can reach us in seconds, but wisdom rarely develops at the same speed. A video may present one side of an argument with great conviction, a social media post may provoke instant anger, and a trending topic may persuade thousands to take a position before they have understood the complete picture. The young, like the old, can be influenced by incomplete information, emotional appeals and the pressure to join a popular opinion. The danger lies not in having a view, but in believing that the first view we form must necessarily be the right one.

What concerns me is not that today’s young people question their elders. Questioning is essential to progress, and every generation must have the freedom to think independently. What deserves reflection is the tendency sometimes to confuse immediate access to information with a complete understanding of life, and instant reaction with mature judgement. In the rush to respond to every issue, the value of pausing, listening and seeking the experience of others can be overlooked.

We are increasingly witnessing a culture in which opinions are expressed publicly before conversations have taken place privately. Young people may react to a family disagreement, a social controversy or a public issue without first discussing it with parents, teachers or other experienced people who might offer a different perspective. The intention may be sincere, and the opinion may even be justified. But a little reflection and dialogue can often reveal dimensions that are not immediately visible.

Taking elders into confidence does not mean surrendering one’s independence or accepting every traditional belief. Nor does age automatically make a person right. Elders can be mistaken, and young people can see what previous generations have failed to notice. The point is not to establish the superiority of one generation over another. It is to recognise that experience and fresh thinking can complement each other. A young mind may bring energy, courage and new ideas, while an experienced mind may offer perspective, caution and an understanding of consequences. Society benefits most when the two engage in conversation rather than compete for authority.

Perhaps the deeper concern is that digital life can make young people feel that they must become adults before they have fully enjoyed being young. They are exposed early to debates, ambitions, social pressures and expectations that once entered life more gradually. They see the achievements of others, compare their own progress and feel compelled to demonstrate maturity, awareness and success. In such an environment, the freedom to be uncertain, playful, inexperienced or simply young can begin to feel like a weakness.

But why should it?

There is nothing immature about enjoying a game, spending an afternoon with friends, laughing over something silly, discovering a hobby or admitting that we do not yet know enough. These are not distractions from growing up. They are part of growing up. Adolescence gives us the opportunity to understand our emotions, learn from mistakes, build friendships and develop the ability to handle disagreement without losing respect for others. If we rush past these experiences in an attempt to appear mature, we may gain confidence in expressing ourselves without developing an equal capacity to understand ourselves.

I would therefore like to tell the young generation something simple,you do not have to hurry through your youth to prove your worth. You do not need an opinion on every issue, nor must you respond to every provocation. There is strength in listening before speaking, patience in waiting before judging and courage in changing your mind when you discover that you were wrong. You can question the world without imagining that you have already understood it completely.

Enjoy your adolescence. Play, explore, travel when you can, read beyond your immediate interests, cultivate friendships and learn skills that have nothing to do with examinations or careers. Spend time with people who disagree with you. Listen to the stories of grandparents and parents, even when their experiences belong to a different age. You may not agree with their conclusions, but you might discover the human circumstances that shaped them. Let curiosity guide you, and let humility accompany your intelligence.

At the same time, let us adults examine ourselves. We cannot expect young people to listen if we dismiss their questions, ridicule their ideas or treat disagreement as disrespect. If we want to share our experience, we must first be willing to hear their concerns. Guidance cannot be imposed merely because we are older, it must earn the trust of those who receive it. The relationship between generations should be a dialogue in which knowledge flows both ways.

And above all, let us not forget the child within ourselves. The child who was curious without being cynical, playful without feeling guilty and capable of finding happiness in little things. As adults, we acquire responsibilities, ambitions and experience, but we should not allow them to extinguish our capacity for wonder. We should become wiser without becoming joyless, more informed without becoming arrogant, and more responsible without losing our spontaneity.

The child within us is not the part that refuses to grow up. It is the part that reminds us how to remain human while growing up. It is the ability to laugh freely, forgive a small mistake, ask a question without embarrassment, enjoy a moment without seeking approval and approach life with an open mind.

Perhaps this is the balance our times demand. Let the young be young before the burden of adulthood settles upon them. Let them acquire knowledge without assuming that knowledge alone is wisdom, and let them exercise their freedom without forgetting the value of listening. Give them the space to question society, but also the time to understand it. Encourage them to lead when they are ready, while allowing them the freedom to learn before they lead.

A society needs young minds that challenge outdated practices and experienced minds that help distinguish lasting values from passing fashions. It needs courage, but also restraint; innovation, but also reflection,independent thinking, but also the humility to learn. None of these qualities belongs exclusively to one generation.

So, to Gen Z and to every generation that follows, my message is this: do not mistake growing up quickly for growing deeply. You have a world of information at your fingertips, but give yourself time to turn information into understanding, understanding into judgement and judgement into wisdom.

Enjoy your childhood. Embrace your adolescence. Enter adulthood with an open mind, a humble heart and the courage to think for yourself.

For the world will always ask you to grow up, to compete, to perform and to prove yourself. But do not let it take away the simple joys that make life beautiful. Do not lose your curiosity in the pursuit of knowledge, your kindness in the pursuit of success, or your playfulness in the pursuit of maturity.

Growing old is inevitable. Growing wiser takes time. And remaining young at heart is an art worth preserving.

(STRAIGHT TALK COMMUNICATIONS EXCLUSIVE. The author is a Columnist | Former Banker | Social Commentator. He can be reached at anil.kumar.sharma9419@gmail.com)