FRIDAY SERMON: Growing Trend of Divorce in Modern Society

Its Causes and Prevention in the Light of the Qur’an and Hadith

Mohammad Younis Bhat (Zahid)

The growing trend of divorce in modern society has become a matter of serious concern. It is no longer an issue limited to a particular country, region, or community; rather, the breakdown of marital relationships is being observed in different societies across the world.

Marriage is a sacred relationship founded on love, trust, loyalty, mutual respect, and responsibility. Unfortunately, in today’s world, minor disagreements, misunderstandings, intolerance, and unrealistic expectations are increasingly becoming reasons for the breakdown of this sacred bond.
Divorce is not merely the separation of two individuals. Its consequences affect children, parents, families, and society as a whole. In particular, children may suffer emotionally, psychologically, and socially, and their upbringing can be seriously affected.

Therefore, it is essential to understand the actual causes behind the increasing trend of divorce, examine them without prejudice, and seek solutions in the light of the Qur’an and Hadith.

Major Causes of the Increasing Trend of Divorce

1. Lack of Patience and Tolerance

Differences of opinion and occasional disagreements are natural in married life. However, patience and tolerance appear to be declining in modern society.
Getting upset over minor issues, using harsh language in anger, and refusing to forgive one another can gradually create emotional distance between husband and wife.
A successful marriage requires patience, understanding, and the willingness to overlook minor mistakes.

2. Mental Stress and Domestic Conflicts

The pressures of modern life, professional commitments, financial worries, and family problems often create mental stress.

When husbands and wives fail to understand each other’s difficulties and instead increase one another’s pressure, the peaceful atmosphere of the home begins to deteriorate.

3. Wrong Advice and Unnecessary Interference

Sometimes, minor disagreements between husband and wife become serious disputes because of inappropriate advice from relatives, friends, or other people.
Unnecessary interference in personal marital matters and encouraging one spouse against the other can seriously damage married life.
Family members should act as peacemakers rather than becoming a source of conflict.

4. Financial Difficulties and Economic Inequality

Household expenses, insufficient income, unemployment, debt, and unrealistic financial expectations are also major causes of marital disagreements.
In some cases, the husband may be unable to fulfil his financial responsibilities, while in others, the wife’s expectations may exceed the family’s financial capacity.

Instead of supporting one another during difficult times, couples sometimes begin blaming each other, which further weakens their relationship.

5. Imbalance in the Responsibilities of Men and Women

In modern society, both men and women increasingly participate in professional employment. Husbands work outside the home, and wives may also have jobs and professional commitments.

However, in some households, a proper balance between responsibilities is not maintained.
Sometimes, the husband assumes that all household responsibilities belong to the wife, while the wife expects that because she also earns money, every responsibility should be divided equally.

When both partners begin comparing their income, professional status, and personal contributions, disagreements may arise.
According to Islamic teachings, marriage is not a competition between husband and wife. It is a relationship based on cooperation, respect, and responsibility.

A woman’s employment is not, in itself, a cause of divorce. The real concern is the imbalance in mutual rights, duties, expectations, and household responsibilities.

6. Disregard for Each Other’s Likes and Dislikes

Every individual has personal preferences, habits, and ways of thinking.

In married life, both partners should respect each other’s preferences and feelings.
When one spouse repeatedly ignores the emotions, opinions, or reasonable wishes of the other, emotional distance gradually develops.

7. Improper Upbringing and Distance from Religious Teachings

A lack of proper upbringing in childhood, particularly regarding manners, patience, respect, and family responsibilities, can negatively affect married life.
Distance from religious teachings may also lead some individuals to remember their own rights while neglecting their duties towards their spouses.
A successful marriage requires both partners to understand not only their rights but also their responsibilities.

8. Highlighting Each Other’s Weaknesses

Marriage should be a relationship in which husband and wife support each other and help one another overcome personal weaknesses.
Unfortunately, some couples repeatedly bring up past mistakes during arguments, insult each other in front of others, and use personal weaknesses as weapons.
Such behaviour gradually destroys trust, respect, and emotional attachment.

9. Family Tensions and Unnecessary Involvement of In-Laws

Sometimes, the main cause of disagreements between husband and wife is not their personal relationship but unnecessary interference from their respective families.

Excessive involvement by parents, brothers, sisters, and other relatives can disturb the peace of a married couple.
Similarly, a son-in-law or daughter-in-law should also respect the dignity and rights of family elders.
Every married couple needs reasonable privacy and the freedom to manage their household matters responsibly.

10. Dowry and Other Unnecessary Social Customs

Dowry demands, unnecessary wedding expenses, extravagant celebrations, social display, and other burdensome customs have made marriage difficult in many communities.
Even after marriage, unreasonable financial expectations and social traditions can create disagreements between couples and their families.
Marriage should be made simple and affordable rather than turned into a financial burden.

11. Unnecessary Premarital Associations and Unrealistic Expectations

Some young people make decisions about marriage based purely on emotions and temporary attraction without properly understanding each other’s personalities, habits, and circumstances.
Sometimes, individuals do not honestly present their real character, expectations, or personal circumstances before marriage.
After marriage, when the realities and responsibilities of daily life become apparent, disagreements may develop.
Young people should understand that marriage requires maturity, honesty, commitment, and careful consideration.

12. Misconceptions About Love Marriages and Arranged Marriages

Today, young people have different opinions about love marriages and arranged marriages.
Some believe that love marriages are always successful, while others consider every love marriage a potential failure.
The reality is that the success of a marriage does not depend merely on whether it was based on personal choice or arranged by families.
Whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, a successful relationship requires good character, honesty, mutual respect, responsibility, compatibility, and religious and moral values.
Young people should not make marriage decisions solely on the basis of emotions. They should think carefully, seek appropriate family guidance, and understand the responsibilities involved.

13. Unnecessary Restrictions and Imbalance in the Name of Freedom

Trust and respect for each other’s personal freedom are essential in married life.
However, sometimes husbands or wives impose unnecessary restrictions on one another, become excessively suspicious, and interfere too much in each other’s personal lives.
On the other hand, neglecting marital responsibilities in the name of personal freedom can also create serious problems.
A healthy marriage requires mutual trust, reasonable boundaries, and respect for one another.

14. Negative Effects of Mobile Phones, YouTube, Social Media, and Television Dramas

In the modern age, mobile phones and social media have become an important part of everyday life. However, their excessive and inappropriate use has also affected family relationships.
The fictional lifestyles shown in television dramas, YouTube videos, and social media content are sometimes mistaken for real life.
Some individuals begin expecting their spouses to behave exactly like the characters they see in films and dramas.
Furthermore, inappropriate online content, unnecessary communication with others, excessive mobile phone usage, and reduced communication between spouses can contribute to mistrust and marital disagreements.
Parents should also pay attention to their children’s use of mobile phones and the internet and provide appropriate moral guidance and supervision.

15. Addiction to Drugs and Intoxicating Substances

The increasing use of drugs and other intoxicating substances among young people is another serious social concern.
Addiction can negatively affect a person’s thinking, character, behaviour, health, and family life.

An individual suffering from addiction may neglect family responsibilities, create financial difficulties, and sometimes behave aggressively towards family members.
As a result, serious disagreements may arise between husband and wife.
Timely medical treatment, family support, religious and moral guidance, and public awareness are essential to address this problem.

16. Childlessness and Lack of Acceptance of Allah’s Decree

Sometimes, the inability to have children also becomes a cause of marital conflict and, in certain cases, divorce.

In some families, the wife is unfairly blamed for not having children, whereas medical reasons for infertility may relate to either the husband or the wife.
Family pressure, repeated criticism, taunts, and mutual accusations can gradually damage the marital relationship.
However, the blessing of children is in the hands of Allah Almighty. The Qur’an states:
لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۚ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ
“To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wills.”
(Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49)
Therefore, when a couple is unable to have children, they should support one another with patience, love, and understanding instead of blaming each other.

The desire to have children is natural, but it is unjust to hurt someone’s dignity or threaten divorce simply because children have not been born.
Married life is not only about having children; it is also about love, loyalty, peace, companionship, and supporting one another through life’s difficulties.

Prevention of Divorce in the Light of the Qur’an and Hadith

To address the growing trend of divorce, we must first bring our lives in accordance with Islamic teachings.

Islam establishes marriage on the foundations of love, mercy, peace, mutual respect, and responsibility.

● Love and Mercy in Married Life

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Qur’an:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
(Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)

This verse clearly explains that married life should be based on tranquillity, affection, and mercy.

Husband and wife should become a source of peace and comfort for one another rather than a source of distress.

● Treating Each Other with Kindness

Allah Almighty says:
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
“And live with them in kindness.”
(Surah An-Nisa, 4:19)

This teaching reminds husbands to treat their wives with dignity, affection, and good manners.

Similarly, wives should also maintain respect, kindness, and good conduct towards their husbands.

● Demonstrating Patience and Tolerance

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ

“A believing man should not dislike a believing woman completely. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.”
(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1469)

This Hadith teaches us to recognise the good qualities of our spouses rather than focusing only on their shortcomings.

● Reconciliation in Case of Marital Disputes

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Qur’an:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا

“And if you fear a breach between them, appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family.”
(Surah An-Nisa, 4:35)

This verse teaches that when serious disagreements arise between husband and wife, sincere and impartial representatives from both families should be appointed to help resolve the matter.

The purpose should be reconciliation, justice, and restoring peace.

● Understanding the Rights of Both Husband and Wife

Islam gives importance to the rights and responsibilities of both men and women.

Allah Almighty says:
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
“And women have rights similar to those against them, according to what is reasonable.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:228)

Therefore, both husband and wife should understand not only their own rights but also their responsibilities towards one another.

● Do Not Make Divorce an Emotional Decision

Islam recognises divorce as a lawful option when circumstances genuinely require it. However, it should never be treated as a game, a casual threat, or a means of expressing anger.

Husbands and wives should avoid making hasty decisions during arguments.
They should refrain from using divorce as a threat and should seek reconciliation whenever it is reasonable and safe to do so.

If the situation becomes serious, they should seek proper Islamic guidance from qualified scholars so that the rights of both parties are protected.

Practical Measures to Prevent Divorce

Reducing the growing trend of divorce requires more than advice. Practical steps must also be taken.

• Young people should be educated about the responsibilities of married life before marriage.
• Marriage should be made simple and affordable, and unnecessary dowry demands and social customs should be discouraged.
• Husbands and wives should communicate openly and resolve misunderstandings before they become serious disputes.
• Major decisions should never be made in anger or under emotional pressure.
• Both partners should respect each other’s parents and families.
• Unnecessary interference in household matters should be avoided.
• Mobile phones and social media should be used responsibly and in moderation.
• Children should receive proper moral and religious education.
• Drugs and intoxicating substances should be avoided, and those affected should be encouraged to seek treatment.
• In cases of childlessness, couples should avoid blaming one another and instead seek medical advice and pray to Allah.
• In case of serious disagreements, couples should seek guidance from sensible family members and qualified religious scholars.
• Every reasonable effort should be made to preserve the relationship with dignity, love, and justice. MESSAGE:
  An Appeal to the Younger Generation and Society

Today, we need to make our younger generation understand that marriage is not merely a matter of emotions, physical attraction, or temporary personal preference. It is a great responsibility, a solemn commitment, and the foundation of the family system.
Married life brings both happiness and difficulties. Sometimes there are financial problems, sometimes differences in temperament, and sometimes difficulties in understanding one another.
However, a successful marriage is one in which both partners hold each other’s hands and face life’s challenges together.

A husband should provide his wife with dignity, protection, affection, and respect. Similarly, a wife should maintain a relationship of respect, trust, and cooperation with her husband.
Both should understand that a home is not built through the efforts of one person alone; it is built through mutual cooperation.
Parents also have an important responsibility. They should act wisely and fairly in matters concerning their children’s marriages, avoid unnecessary demands and interference, and prepare their children for the realities and responsibilities of married life.
Divorce should neither be treated as a trivial matter nor should anyone be forced to tolerate oppression or violence in the name of preserving a marriage.

Islam teaches reconciliation and reform wherever possible, while also providing a lawful path to separation when necessary.

An Important Message

Homes are built with love, sustained through trust, and strengthened through patience and tolerance.

We must give the coming generation a society in which marriage is made easy, relationships are valued, the rights of both men and women are protected, and families are established upon love, respect, and Islamic teachings.

May Allah Almighty bless our homes with love, peace, prosperity, and mercy, and protect our society from the breakdown of family relationships.
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