FRIDAY SERMON: The Desire for Children, Continuity of the Family, and Superiority
Love, Responsibility, Status, Fame, and Balance of the Ego
Mohammad Younis Bhat (Zahid)
Human beings are not driven only by the desire for food, wealth, or physical intimacy. People also naturally desire children, continuity of their family, respect, social status, achievement, and sometimes a position of influence.
The desire to have children is natural. A person may wish to have a family, raise children, and see future generations continue the family. Similarly, the desire for respect, achievement, and a meaningful position in society is not necessarily wrong.
The problem begins when a person turns children into a means of pride, wealth and status into means of superiority, and recognition into a source of arrogance.
Islam does not ask human beings to eliminate every natural desire. Instead, it teaches them to direct their desires toward proper purposes and responsible behavior.
The Desire for Children Is a Natural Blessing
Children are among the great blessings of Allah. The love that parents feel for their children is naturally placed within the human heart.
A person wants children in his home, wants to raise them, educate them, prepare them for the future, and provide them with a good life.
The Qur’an describes wealth and children as adornments of worldly life. (Surah Al-Kahf, 18:46).
This shows that the desire for children is a natural part of human life. At the same time, the Qur’an reminds us that worldly blessings are temporary.
Therefore, instead of merely taking pride in having children, parents should ask themselves:
“Allah has entrusted these children to me; how will I fulfill the responsibility of this blessing?”
Children Are Not Only a Source of Happiness but Also a Responsibility
The birth of a child brings responsibilities along with happiness.
Parents are responsible not only for providing food, clothing, and shelter, but also for the children’s:
religious education;
moral development;
education and learning;
character building;
emotional and mental development;
and preparation for responsible participation in society.
A person may strongly desire a large family, but if he is unwilling or unable to take proper responsibility for the children’s upbringing and essential needs, he should understand that desire must be accompanied by responsibility.
The number of children is not the only measure of success.
What matters greatly is the quality of their upbringing and character.
Children and the Continuity of the Human Family
One of the important purposes of marriage is the continuation of the human family.
Through the marital relationship, a new generation comes into existence, and parents pass on values, morals, education, and culture to their children.
In this sense, raising children is not merely a private family matter. It also has consequences for the future of society.
When parents raise children who are responsible, ethical, educated, and morally sound, the benefit extends beyond the household and contributes to the well-being of society.
This is why Islam gives great importance to the proper upbringing of children.
Do Not Turn Children Into a Means of Competition
In modern society, children can sometimes become a source of social competition.
One person may say:
“My children hold such-and-such positions.”
Another may say:
“My children have more wealth.”
Someone else may use a child’s education, profession, business, or social position as a way of demonstrating superiority over another family.
Being happy about one’s children’s achievements is natural. But using children to make other people feel inferior is not a healthy attitude.
Children are not the property of their parents. They are a trust from Allah.
The responsibility of parents is not to make their children instruments of competition, but to help them become good and responsible human beings.
Avoid Discrimination Between Sons and Daughters
An important issue related to the desire for children is the unfair preference sometimes shown toward sons over daughters.
Islam rejected the pre-Islamic attitude in which some people regarded the birth of a daughter as a source of shame.
The Qur’an describes the negative reaction of those who became distressed when informed of the birth of a daughter. (Surah An-Nahl, 16:58–59).
In Islam, a daughter is a blessing from Allah, just as a son is.
Parents should treat both with justice, love, dignity, and care.
The value of a child should not be determined by gender, but by character, righteousness, and conduct.
The Desire for Respect and Status
Human beings naturally want to be respected. A person may wish for people to value his efforts, listen to him, and recognize his contribution to society.
The desire for dignity and respect is understandable.
However, a boundary must be observed.
If a person begins doing good deeds only so that people will praise him, the desire for respect can turn into a desire for recognition.
If a person constantly compares his position with others, he may develop jealousy, arrogance, and dissatisfaction.
Therefore, the ultimate objective should not simply be to become important in the eyes of people. A person should also strive to become worthy in the sight of Allah.
The Desire for Position and Authority
A position of authority is a serious responsibility.
If a person desires a position, he should ask himself what he intends to achieve through it and what responsibility he hopes to fulfill.
If the purpose is merely power, fame, wealth, or controlling other people, this can become a dangerous form of ambition.
However, if a person believes that he is genuinely qualified for a particular responsibility and his intention is to serve people, establish justice, or fulfill an important public duty, the matter can be different.
The intention and circumstances are important.
The Story of Prophet Yusuf and the Request for a Position
The Qur’an records an important incident involving Prophet Yusuf (Joseph), peace be upon him.
When Egypt was facing severe economic difficulty, Yusuf said:
“Appoint me over the storehouses of the land; indeed, I am a knowledgeable guardian.”
(Surah Yusuf, 12:55).
This verse provides an important and sensitive lesson concerning positions of responsibility.
The situation of Prophet Yusuf was not simply an example of personal competition or a desire for fame. The Qur’anic account presents a specific circumstance involving a major public need and Yusuf’s knowledge, competence, and trustworthiness.
Therefore, this incident should not be turned into a general principle that everyone should seek positions of authority for himself.
Rather, it can be understood that when there is a genuine need for someone to undertake a responsibility, and a person possesses the necessary competence and trustworthiness, explaining one’s qualifications can be a distinct matter under appropriate circumstances.
This should not be confused with personal arrogance, love of power, or the desire to become superior to others.
The Desire to Get Ahead of Others
The desire to progress is also natural.
Trying to perform better in education, develop a business, advance professionally, or contribute more to society is not inherently wrong.
The danger begins when the goal becomes:
“I must be greater than others, even if I have to put someone else down.”
At that point, the desire for progress can become a battle of ego rather than a pursuit of beneficial achievement.
A Muslim should therefore ask:
“Why do I want to move ahead?”
If the purpose is better service, better character, and lawful achievement, the effort can have a positive purpose.
If the purpose is simply to defeat others and prove personal superiority, a person should examine his heart and intention.
Ego and Arrogance
Among all forms of uncontrolled desire, the ego can be particularly dangerous.
The ego may cause a person to think:
“I am better than others.”
“My opinion is always correct.”
“I deserve more respect than other people.”
“I must always be ahead.”
“My success is proven by other people’s failure.”
Such thinking can damage relationships and character.
Arrogance is not limited to wealth, clothing, or social position. It can also appear through knowledge, family background, religious practice, professional success, or even one’s perception of his own righteousness.
Therefore, a person should continually examine his heart.
The Difference Between Dignity and Arrogance
Seeking dignity and becoming arrogant are not the same thing.
A person may dress well, live in a good house, succeed in business, or hold an important position. None of these things automatically constitute arrogance.
Arrogance appears when a person develops an attitude of superiority and looks down upon others.
The Prophet ﷺ described arrogance as rejecting truth and looking down upon people. (Sahih Muslim).
Therefore, achieving success is not the problem.
The problem is allowing success to make us despise other people.
The Desire for Fame
In the modern age, becoming famous is easier than ever.
Through social media, a person can reach thousands or even millions of people within a short period.
As a result, some people begin doing things primarily so that others will notice them, praise them, and remember their name.
This is a point at which a person should examine his intention.
If someone shares beneficial knowledge, useful information, or meaningful work with others, that is a different matter.
But if the primary objective is praise and attention, a person may gradually become dependent upon public approval.
A believer should therefore ask:
“Would I still do this good deed if nobody praised me for it?”
This question can help reveal the true motivation behind an action.
Correcting the Intention
One of the most important ways to correct our desires is to correct our intention.
Two people may perform the same action while having completely different motivations.
One person may run a business to earn lawful income and fulfill his family’s responsibilities.
Another may run a business primarily to prove that he is richer or more important than others.
One person may accept a position in order to fulfill a responsibility.
Another may desire the same position simply because he wants people to obey him.
Outwardly, the actions may appear similar, but the intention and moral purpose may be very different.
Therefore, one of the first questions a person should ask when facing a strong desire is:
“Why do I want this?”
Children, Wealth, and Positions Are All Tests
Children are a blessing.
Wealth is a blessing.
A position of responsibility can also be a blessing under the right circumstances.
But every blessing can also become a test.
The test of wealth is how it is earned and spent.
The test of children is how they are raised and guided.
The test of authority is whether a person remains just, trustworthy, and responsible after receiving power.
Therefore, receiving a blessing is not necessarily the final measure of success.
True success lies in responding to blessings with gratitude, trustworthiness, and responsibility.
Do Not Make Desires the Purpose of Life
When a person makes his desires the purpose of his life, one fulfilled desire is quickly replaced by another.
First, he wants a house.
Then he wants a larger house.
Then a better car.
Then greater wealth.
Then a larger business.
Then greater fame.
Then a more powerful position.
Eventually, a person may possess many things and still remain dissatisfied.
Therefore, the purpose of life cannot simply be the fulfillment of every desire.
Desires are part of life; they are not the purpose of life.
Practical Ways to Control These Desires
■ Identify the Nature of Your Desire
Ask yourself whether the desire is a genuine need, a legitimate form of progress, or simply competition with others.
■ Examine Your Intention
Ask yourself whether your purpose is service or merely recognition.
■ Practice Gratitude
Recognize what Allah has already given you instead of constantly focusing on what others possess.
■ Avoid Unnecessary Comparison
Every person’s circumstances, provision, opportunities, and tests are different.
■ Connect Success With Service
Use your achievements not only for yourself but also for the benefit of other people.
■ Prioritize the Upbringing of Children
Give greater importance to children’s character and values than merely to their numbers or outward achievements.
■ Treat Positions as Trusts
An office or position is not merely an honor. It is a responsibility and an accountability.
■ Recognize the Ego
If another person’s success makes you uncomfortable or jealous, take the opportunity to examine your own heart.
■ Remember the Hereafter
Worldly status, fame, power, and possessions are temporary.
Conclusion
The desire for children, family continuity, respect, achievement, recognition, and social position can naturally exist within human beings.
Islam does not demand that these desires be completely eliminated. Instead, it teaches that they should remain under the control of responsibility, God-consciousness, and a proper purpose.
Children are a blessing, but they also bring the responsibility of upbringing.
Wealth is a blessing, but it carries rights and responsibilities.
Authority can be an opportunity, but it is also a trust and a serious accountability.
Respect is valuable, but looking down upon others is arrogance.
The desire to progress can be beneficial, but putting others down is not genuine success.
Central Message
Treat children as a blessing, not as a means of competition; treat wealth as a trust, not as a source of arrogance; treat positions as responsibilities, not as instruments of superiority; and turn success into service rather than a means of satisfying the ego.
This is the path toward directing human desires toward a balanced, responsible, and meaningful life.
And Allah knows best
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