Are We Giving Our Children Enough Time to Be Children?
The question is whether, while preparing them for the future, we are giving them enough time to live their childhood in the present.
Gowher Bhat
A child comes home from school carrying a heavy schoolbag, knowing that homework may be waiting at home, a test may need to be prepared for and another class may begin later in the evening. By the time everything is finished, there may be very little time left for the things that once seemed ordinary in childhood: playing outside, meeting friends, reading for pleasure, talking to family or simply sitting around with nothing particular to do.
This is not an argument against education. Parents want their children to study because they want them to have good opportunities in life, and children certainly need discipline, guidance and challenges as they grow. But there is a difference between preparing a child for the future and filling every part of childhood with activities designed for that future, and that difference deserves our attention.
Are we giving our children enough time to be children?
Play is often treated as something that can be fitted into the day after the important things have been completed. Yet paediatric experts do not regard play as merely spare-time entertainment. The American Academy of Pediatrics says developmentally appropriate play with parents and peers provides important opportunities for children to develop social-emotional, cognitive, language and self-regulation skills. Its clinical report The Power of Play was reaffirmed in January 2025, meaning the Academy continues to stand behind its recommendations.
This matters because play can easily disappear when children’s schedules become crowded. Homework takes priority, tuition takes priority, examination preparation takes priority and organised activities may also be added to the timetable, leaving play to fit into whatever time remains. But play does not necessarily compete with learning. For children, it can be one of the ways learning takes place.
When children create their own games, negotiate rules, resolve small disagreements and work out how to use the space around them, they are developing social and problem-solving skills through ordinary experiences. Building something, drawing, pretending or exploring can also encourage imagination and curiosity. Not every valuable childhood experience has to produce a mark, certificate or measurable achievement, and the American Academy of Pediatrics recognises play as an important part of healthy development rather than simply a form of entertainment.
Physical activity is another part of childhood that deserves a regular place in the day. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that children and adolescents aged 6 to 17 get at least 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity every day. The CDC recommends a variety of enjoyable, age-appropriate activities, with most of that daily activity being aerobic; on at least three days a week, children should also include vigorous activity as well as activities that strengthen muscles and bones.
This does not mean that every child needs to become a competitive athlete. Walking, running, cycling, swimming, dancing, climbing, playing football or taking part in active games can all provide opportunities for movement. What matters is that children have regular opportunities to be physically active, and the CDC also points to schools as an important setting for promoting physical education and physical activity.
For younger children, the World Health Organization similarly recommends a healthy balance of physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep. Its guidelines for children under five encourage active play and advise against allowing prolonged sedentary screen-based activities to replace movement, sleep and meaningful interaction with caregivers.
There is another reason to protect children’s time: the pressure surrounding education can be considerable.
The Indian Academy of Pediatrics has recognised academic burden as an issue and has advocated reducing unnecessary academic pressure while giving greater importance to co-curricular and informal learning. Its guidance also supports play-based learning for younger children.
Indian research has also examined academic stress among adolescents. A study of 570 adolescents in Classes 11 and 12 preparing for competitive entrance examinations in Udupi district, Karnataka, found that 86 per cent reported high academic stress, while 87 per cent reported high perceived parental academic pressure. The study also found low general well-being among 57.7 per cent of participants. These figures describe the particular group studied and should not be presented as representing all Indian adolescents, but they do illustrate the level of pressure experienced by some students preparing for highly competitive examinations.
The problem, therefore, is not that parents expect children to study. The difficulty begins when academic performance becomes the dominant measure of a child’s worth. A child who scores well may still feel that the result was not good enough, while another who works hard but struggles in a particular subject may begin to believe that the difficulty says something about intelligence or ability. Repeated comparisons with classmates can add to that pressure, particularly when children are constantly reminded about who scored more.
Most parents do not intend to make their children feel inadequate. Their expectations often come from love and concern about the future, especially in a competitive educational environment where families believe that good academic results can lead to better opportunities. But good intentions do not mean that every form of pressure is helpful, and children need to understand that their value does not depend on a number written on a report card.
This is where the way we speak to children matters. Asking about their marks is natural, but it should not be the only conversation we have with them. We can also ask what they enjoyed learning, whether they had fun during the day, what they found difficult and whether there is anything they would like to talk about. Such conversations can help children understand that their parents are interested in them as people, not simply in their academic performance.
The digital world has added another dimension to childhood. Screens are now part of everyday life, and there is little value in pretending otherwise. Phones, computers and tablets can provide educational material, communication and entertainment, but the important question is what screen use replaces.
If a screen regularly takes the place of sleep, physical activity, family interaction, reading or other forms of play, the balance may need to be reconsidered. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasises the developmental value of play and real-world interaction, while Indian child-health guidance also encourages families to make room for activities beyond screens.
The answer does not have to be extreme. Families can establish periods without screens, encourage outdoor activity and make time for shared activities, while still allowing children to use technology for appropriate educational and recreational purposes. A teenager can have a smartphone and still spend time with friends, just as a younger child can watch a programme and still have an afternoon of outdoor play.
For younger children in particular, the quality of interaction with adults matters greatly. The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights the importance of play with parents and peers, while UNICEF India emphasises nurturing relationships and supportive environments as important parts of children’s and adolescents’ well-being.
Sometimes a parent may know exactly how many marks a child received but not know what made the child happy that day. That is worth thinking about because academic results are easy to measure, while confidence, curiosity, friendships and a child’s sense of security are much harder to put into numbers, even though they are important parts of growing up.
Schools have an equally important role. Education should certainly give children knowledge and prepare them for examinations, but it should also provide opportunities to ask questions, communicate, cooperate, create and discover their abilities. Not every child will be the highest scorer in the class, and not every child will enjoy every subject in the same way. Some children may discover their confidence through sport, others through books, music, art, science, public speaking or practical work.
Recognising those differences does not mean lowering educational standards. It means understanding that children have different abilities and interests, and that a good education should help them develop those strengths rather than making them feel that there is only one acceptable path to success.
Parents can encourage ambition in much the same way. Children certainly need expectations and guidance, but they also need reassurance that one examination, one difficult subject or one disappointing result does not define their intelligence, their abilities or their future. There is a meaningful difference between encouraging a child to improve and making the child feel that anything less than the highest possible result is a disappointment.
Perhaps we should therefore look at a child’s daily timetable differently. Instead of asking only whether there is enough time for school and tuition, we could also ask whether there is enough time for sleep, physical activity, family, friendship, reading, creativity and play. Instead of seeing every empty hour as wasted time, we could recognise that some unstructured time gives children an opportunity to decide what interests them and how they want to spend it.
A child who says, “I am bored,” does not always need an immediate solution. Sometimes boredom gives children an opportunity to create their own activity, whether that means drawing, building something, reading, talking to a sibling or inventing a game with friends. The aim is not to keep children occupied every minute of the day but to give them enough space to develop their own interests and imagination.
None of this means protecting children from every difficulty. Children need to learn discipline, perseverance and responsibility, and they need to understand that important goals often require sustained effort. The challenge is to make sure that healthy expectations do not turn into constant pressure.
UNICEF India has increasingly emphasised the importance of supportive environments, early help and opportunities for children and adolescents to speak openly about their mental health and well-being. Its recent work with the Government of India and partners has also highlighted the importance of listening to young people’s experiences and reducing the stigma surrounding mental-health support.
This is why parents and teachers should pay attention when a child’s behaviour changes significantly, particularly if distress, withdrawal, loss of interest or difficulties with everyday functioning continue over time. Such changes do not automatically mean that a child has a mental-health disorder, but they can be reasons to listen more carefully and seek professional advice when appropriate.
Perhaps the solution does not require a dramatic change in childhood. It may begin with small decisions at home and at school: protecting some time for play, encouraging physical activity, allowing children to have interests outside the syllabus, setting sensible boundaries around screens and making room for conversations that are not about marks.
It also means accepting that children do not have to be exceptional at everything. One child may excel academically, another may find confidence on a football field, while someone else may discover a talent for music, drawing, writing, technology or working with people. Children should have opportunities to discover those abilities without feeling that every activity has to become another competition.
There will be plenty of time later for deadlines, targets, examinations, jobs and adult responsibilities. Childhood itself cannot be postponed and experienced later, which is why protecting some time for play, rest, friendship, curiosity and family is not an indulgence but part of allowing children to grow.
A child does not always need another class or another activity. Sometimes a child needs the freedom to decide what to do, whether that means going outside with friends, making up a game, reading a book, helping at home or simply spending some quiet time without a timetable telling them what comes next.
These moments may look ordinary to adults, but childhood is made largely from ordinary moments, and those are often the experiences that stay with people long after school examinations have been forgotten.
One day, today’s children will become adults, with responsibilities, deadlines and pressures that cannot always be avoided. They will have plenty of time to learn about those things.
For now, perhaps we can give them something else as well: enough space to grow at their own pace, enough freedom to explore their interests and enough time to experience the simple pleasures of being young.
Because the question is not whether children should study hard. They should.
The question is whether, while preparing them for the future, we are giving them enough time to live their childhood in the present.
(STRAIGHT TALK COMMUNICATIONS EXCLUSIVE)
